i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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