Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize