it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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