I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
