Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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