need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is wine microwaveable?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
