you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm both gender and math confused
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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