My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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