But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
