i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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