Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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