I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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