that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
a search helicopter?!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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