well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
