Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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