Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
