I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
