Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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