I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
