the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you had me at cake vodka
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
