I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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