Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
