I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I AM VODKA MAN
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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