im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
