he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
