he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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