it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
