8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
