I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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