What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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