youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
