have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
