i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
