Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
