What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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