I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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