Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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