True but thats because hes a fetus.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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