yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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