I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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