oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
