We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
