I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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