All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There are leaves in my underwear?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
