if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
