so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
