Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
