So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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