I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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