highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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