Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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