i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
