Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
