If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
