i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
