hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
