I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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