you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Are we still banned from the library?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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