I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cockslap morals
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
