He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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