I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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